Idol blogging

Sam: Who's your tip for Idol?
Ruth: Uhm...
Ruth: Jess
Sam: I think Damien
Sam: I have no clue, though
Sam: Last year I thought Emily would win
Ruth: I kind of... don't care
Ruth: But I always feel that by the end of Idol, all the trainwrecks are gone and the winner become moot
Sam: Exactly, Idol fatigue
Sam: I only care because I tipped Damien in our office tipping contest, lol
Ruth: Kartar says he's sad Bobby didn't win
Ruth: "It's good when a tard gets up"
Sam: That would have been MADNESS
Ruth: I think he misses making his "tard face" more
Sam: Speaking of Jameses, I've decided I like Andrew more now
Sam: I'm tired of James's slackjawed, hand in pocket, bored hosting
Ruth: True
Ruth: Though "gay lick" club was gold
Sam: No that was STUPID
Sam: That annoyed me
Sam: I'm so tired of Idol's gay jokes
Sam: Pick on another minority!
Ruth: True
Ruth: But I enjoy the idea that they're so over this program they're pretty much willing to risk their jobs for self-amusement
Sam: Heh, that's true
Ruth: Yech. Group-sings are so... brady bunch variety hour
Sam: I agree
Sam: But I kinda like them, lol
Sam: They're so unironically lame
Sam: It's a delicious trainwreck
Ruth: Yes, because I like imagining how embarrased the "cooler" members must be
Ruth: Man, I'd forgotten half these people existed
Sam: Word... Reagen who?
Sam: I'm going to review the live show for work this year, I hope
Ruth: Ooh
Sam: I asked the head of gigs if I could go and she said yes, haha
Sam: Lisa's shorts/stockings combo offends me
Ruth: Her voice offends me
Ruth: And that mole/frekle above her lip
Sam: Mark Holden's white suit offends me
Sam: I know it's a callback to his youth
Sam: But...
Sam: Blech
Ruth: Yeah, he's overdone the callbacks to his youth though
Ruth: It's like, ok Mark, you had ONE song and wore bad suits and carnations
Ruth: We get it
Ruth: You were famous once
Ruth: "Thanks guys, you've been great.... NOW GET THE FUCK OFF THE STAGE, LOSERS"
Sam: GODDAMMIT ANOYTHER BREAK AAARKHLSFGLKSAKLJFGJKLDSFJKLDSJKFDSKJ
Ruth: I wish they'd bring back Dicko
Ruth: It would be such a different show if he'd never left
Sam: Dicko was the best judge of the four they've had
Sam: Too bad he got too big for his boots
Sam: I don't mind Kyle
Ruth: I mind Kyle
Ruth: Occasionally he smacks a contestant down, but I don't rate his opinion
Ruth: He bags people for the sake of it
Ruth: You can almost hear his thoughts going "Hmm, I'd like to be on the promos this week"
Sam: Verdict time
Ruth: Bah
Ruth: Jess could've made a solid Idol album
Ruth: What's Damien going to do with a bunch of crappy pop songs?
Ruth: This song rots
Ruth Good for the over-30 crowd, I guess
Ruth: They can put it on the stereo of their 4wd during trips to Ikea

posted by Ruth at 10:38 PM

Goodbye final essay!



Goodbye gender studies students!



Goodbye hippy cafe that I never went to!



Goodbye Laptop Losers!



Goodbye law students who weren't smart enough to get into Melbourne Uni!



Goodbye dodgy medical center that was closed the only time I needed it!



Goodbye hateful cafe staff!



Goodbye scary ducks who attack me!


GOODBYE UNIVERSITY!

posted by Ruth at 12:42 AM

Like most good Australians, Halloween fills me with me with lots of fist-shaking, "Damn American imperialism" ranting. There's just something about the sight of a few little kids in lazy costumes dragging their disinterested parents to their disinterested neighbour's houses to be told, "Oh, uhm, Halloween, uhm... maybe I have something in the fridge..." that annoys me. I think it's because I was once one of those little kids. You see, I don't actually hate Halloween at all. I enjoy people who put effort into clever costumes, and I enjoy blood capsules, and I enjoy zombies and ghosts and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I just think Australians are far too lazy to get Halloween right. It needs that American craziness and enthusiasm and desire to go overboard on every freaking thing that they do. It sure would be cool to make a super-inventive costume and deck the house out like a haunted mansion and let kids inside so they wet their pants and then have the house smell like wee for the next year, but... eh. I can't be fucked. Over-the-top enthusiasm is something I enjoy about Americans, because it is the reason God gave us Jerry Springer and Tom Cruise, and I am very thankful for this. I don't wish to be a part of that culture, but I enjoy observing it from afar. And so, in tribute to America and their crazy celebration that celebrates nothing in particular, here is a special list for Halloween:

• The Wikipedia article on Halloween is a good place to start if you know little about the origins of this holiday. Did you know that it's a public holiday in Ireland? And that the most popular Halloween costumes in America are witch, pirate, vampire, cat, and clown? True!
  
  
• Here is a jack-o-lantern of Alan Turing, who is apparently the father of modern computer science
  
  
• Halloween Chick Tract. The kid is named Buffy. And it features my favourite Chick character, Little Susie and her enourmous soapbox perched upon a high horse. Her grandfather is Basil St John. I love you, Jack Chick.
  
  
• 1986 film The Worst Witch is great (in the sense that it's fucking terrible, and thus completely entertaining) and featured this bizarre and crappy film clip of Tim Curry:
  
  
  
  Wow. Does anyone else remember that "Special Effects" video thing at Scienceworks where you made a video of yourself with a bunch of crappy special effects? THAT was better than the Curry clip. Jeebux.
  
  Anyway, X-Entertainment did an awesome recap of this film which you should read, along with the rest of the site which is currently celebrating Halloween in the aformentioned over-the-top American way.
  
  
• Cockeyed.com's Rock Cockerham is known for making some pretty incredible constumes. He hasn't revealed what this year's is yet, but you can see him making it. My guess is that he's going as the Idol judges, or Donald Trump and his Apprentice cronies. I hope it's the former, because then he'll have to dress like Paula Abdul, a look that can only be perfected with the right combination of valium and cocaine.

Happy Halloween!

posted by Ruth at 3:23 AM